


brighter days

by kingdra (aroceu)



Series: Generosity [29]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/kingdra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you're here for life, so give it up</p>
            </blockquote>





	brighter days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kyungster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyungster/gifts).



Kyuyhun doesn't often think about his relationship with Hyukjae. He imagines that they're like pieces of thread, not intertwined but side by side. Thin and unveiling. Together.

Five months and maybe a few days after he establishes that he wants something more - like that feeling you get when you're a teenager and you hold hands with a girl, or see that classmate you've been eyeing for a while lock eyes with you - Hyukjae asks him, "Have you ever experimented with a friend before?"

They're in Hyukjae's room, because Kyuhyun's is messy and even though he knows Hyukjae can handle it, Hyukjae still says that he hates it. But Kyuhyun knows that Hyukjae prefers to be in his room, and Kyuhyun prefers being in Hyukjae's room, too.

"No," says Kyuhyun, legs hanging off the bed, sprawled on his back. He ignores the intense feeling on his body, the one that he gets when he knows Hyukjae is looking at him. "Have you?"

Hyukjae is sitting on the floor, by the door. Kyuyhun knows he likes being closer to the ground. "Yeah, I have," he says. "In high school."

"Oh?"

Kyuhyun sits up. There isn't a pang of jealousy in his chest, only morbid curiosity. "What was she like?"

"He."

"He? You - oh."

Kyuhyun stares at him. Hyukjae's gaze is fixated on the floor. Something rings in Kyuhyun's heart then, something that sounds like, _I might have a chance_.

*

"He wasn't that great," Hyukjae says, later. They're alone again, and it's midnight. They'd just come back from having a small group dinner: Kyuhyun, Hyukjae, Jongwoon, and Sungmin. Ryeowook had left with a fan in the afternoon.

"Sort of clumsy, kept stuttering and apologizing. To be fair, it was both of our first times."

"Were you that bad, too?"

Kyuhyun's teasing, but he wants to know - corners of Hyukjae's mind, mysteries behind the curl of his mouth. Hyukjae looks at him and chuckles, and Kyuhyun thinks he's let in a little.

"I think I was okay. More confident than him, at least," he says.

"Yeah," says Kyuhyun, leaning against the bed. "Confidence is good. Confidence is attractive."

Hyukjae doesn't say anything then, only looks at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun's face burns, as well as his neck, but he tries not to show it.

*

They leave for a while and spend some time apart. Kyuhyun's used to the fleeting absences of Hyukjae by his side, but sometimes it feels like it isn't there, because with so many people to keep him company, it's almost impossible to feel lonely, like Hyukjae's presence isn't quite significant. Or maybe Kyuhyun's just expecting for him to come back, each time.

He doesn't think about their relationship a lot, but he supposes it's one of those things you can't place, like a mother's love or an artist's heartbreak. One of those things you can see, but you can't explain other than seeing it happen itself. Kyuhyun feels like there's a wall between him and Hyukjae, but a wall he wants to dig and dig and dig until there's finally a hole where they can find each other and hide the secrets they don't talk about.

They set themselves up for love, but this is a feeling that can't be denied. Kyuhyun watches Hyukjae from the corner of his eye, watching Hyukjae peer up at him from his own edges.

*

There comes the time when Hyukjae confesses first, because Hyukjae will always confess first. Kyuhyun is a cover he will never understand.

"I like you," says Hyukjae, and everything inside Kyuhyun turns into butterflies.

"You better not be screwing with me," he says. Hyukjae looks up from his thin hands.

"I'm not." There's a faint blush on his cheeks, splotches of pink. Kyuhyun wants to lick them off. "I - like you, Kyuhyun."

Kyuhyun kisses Hyukjae in response.

*

They kiss back in Hyukjae's room, all tongue and teeth and lips, and Kyuhyun feels Hyukjae burning underneath him, has never known anything to feel this good. Hyukjae is shuddering, a little, and his breath stutters when Kyuhyun involuntarily jerks his hips against Hyukjae's.

"Fuck - ngh, Kyuhyun," he says, and Kyuhyun takes a hold of Hyukjae's collar and licks his neck.

Hyukjae's teeth clock horribly together, and Kyuhyun likes it, wants Hyukjae more. He places open-mouthed kisses against the flush of Hyukjae's neck, and when Hyukjae pushes on the brink of a groan, Kyuhyun slides his teeth against his skin, biting and nipping until Hyukjae is tugging at small clumps of his hair, forcing Kyuhyun's head up.

"Kyuhyun," Hyukjae groans again, and Kyuhyun just smiles and lets him go. Hyukjae looks disheartened, for a moment, and Kyuhyun soaks it up for a second - Hyukjae's eyes are glazed over, and his mouth is curled into something not quite satisfaction, not quite disappointment. Kyuhyun wonders what Hyukjae's set himself up for.

*

Sungmin tells Kyuhyun, "You and Hyukjae are disgusting," and pushes him out of their dorm.

Kyuhyun wonders if Sungmin said the same to Hyukjae.

Youngwoon and Jungsu give them fleeting glances, as if they don't know what to say, or not to say. Shindong ignores them off-camera. Ryeowook hesitates, like he wants to comfort them but fears the judgment of the other members.

Kyuhyun doesn't know how it got out, but he supposes they're pretty obvious - leaving in the middle or at the end of things to go back to Hyukjae's room, always giggling behind everyone else, sitting next to each other in the living room and tangling their ankles together on the coffee table. They know it's not right.

*

"So Sungmin hyung kicked me out," Kyuhyun explains, dragging three pairs of clothes and his favorite pillow into Hyukjae's room.

Hyukjae snorts, but doesn't protest. "So you're rooming with me now?"

"I don't have any other choice." Kyuhyun flings first his clothes and pillow onto Hyukjae's bed, and then himself.

Hyukjae grunts. "Get off me."

"No."

"Kyuhyun, get off me, you're crushing my chest."

"No." Kyuhyun buries his face into Hyukjae's chest, so much so that Hyukjae starts giggling because Kyuhyun knows he's too ticklish.

"I can feel you vibrate underneath me," Kyuhyun says into Hyukjae's shirt, muffled, and Hyukjae giggles even more.

"S-Stop, Kyuhyun," he says, and pushes the top of Kyuhyun's head and Kyuhyun looks up at him.

They stare at each other, for a breathless second - then Hyukjae's nearly slipping off the bed and his pants are around his knees, boxers barely on his thighs and his cock is deep, deep in Kyuhyun's mouth. Kyuhyun sucks and bends his head down and twists Hyukjae's cock with his left hand, and Hyukjae moans and leans back on his bed, elbows barely holding him up. Kyuhyun takes Hyukjae's cock and teases it, licking the light sprinkle of hair around, lips and mouth on then off, a trail of saliva connecting them both. "Hyukjae," he says before thrusting Hyukjae into his mouth again, and then Hyukjae is crying out and thick and warm in Kyuhyun's mouth.

They don't give two fucks that the entire dorm can hear them.

*

When Kyuhyun asks him about it later, Hyukjae says, "I wanted - hoped, that you wouldn't be like them."

Kyuhyun doesn't need to ask him what he means. He just holds Hyukjae's left hand and rests his head on his shoulder.

Hyukjae sighs, and Kyuhyun feels his breath. He feels Hyukjae as his breath. Hyukjae is every part of his body, connecting with him, and Kyuhyun doesn't need to know anymore about him to know him.

Kyuhyun hums a little tune under his breath. He smiles when he hears Hyukjae sing along.


End file.
